


Custody

by Sigynthefaithful



Category: Norse Mythology, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies), all bent to my whims
Genre: Don't like|Don't read, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Intersexed|Hermaphrodyte Jotnar, M/M, Mental Instability, Multi, Pseudo-Incest, Scheming|Loki, Sexual Content, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 18:25:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigynthefaithful/pseuds/Sigynthefaithful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Avengers, Loki on trial, flashbacks, feels, incitement to rape, porn/smut/fluff, bad, bad writer! You name it.<br/>Can't summarize...<br/>I don't own the Marvel characters and I don't make any profit out of this work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. RETURN

**Author's Note:**

> As you might know by now, I am all for constructive criticism, but if you are haters, please don't even bother to comment. I hope I attached enough additional tags to discourage you from reading if it's not your cup of tea.  
> Thank you for reading/commenting/kudos  
> Yours truly

1\. RETURN

When they arrived in Asgard Thor didn’t take Loki to the Healing Rooms. He seemed fine but for several cuts and scratches and stopped mumbling under the gagging device long ago. Thor would have punished his not-brother himself to spare him a worse fate. He would have done other things to Loki too, but that was another sad story, one that might have set Loki on the path of madness. So he just kept pushing him forward roughly just to let out some steam. Loki shot enraged looks around or whiffed scornfully behind the contraption keeping him from casting spoken spells.




Heimdall took care of the ‘welcome assembly’ at Odin’s command. Masked rune wielders, all women, as Ǽsir custom was, were already waiting for them, heating the magic branding irons to prevent Loki from using his powers. Afraid to take the cuffs off, they tore his clothes with knives, bared him to his waist and branded the runes deep into the skin on his forehead, chest and palms while the Guardian of the Nine Realms helped, holding him still. The gag stayed on too, muffling Loki’s agonizing cries. At the sight of tears streaming on his reddened face and of the strained sinewy body - only now did he realize how thin Loki had become -, bruised and scratched, Thor turned and left rumbling curses, rubbing at his stinging eyes and clenching Mjölnir’s handle. He was _so_ close to defying his father and King again…

 His access to magic obstructed, Loki wasn’t a real threat anymore, so the gag was removed and he was locked in a cell to wait for the trial. Thor sent fresh clothing and plenty of food and drinks, but Loki only trampled, tore and spilled everything screaming his rage out loud, proffering insults or threats. Frigga tried to appease him but he spit at her and called her ‘the two-faced godly bitch’, so she turned her back on him and left, deeply hurt, not looking back.

He kept on howling all the dirty gossip concerning anyone that came to mind until, hearing from his two ravens about the ‘entertainment’ his adopted son provided for the prison guards and incidental visitors, Odin send word that Loki should best ‘muzzle it’ or he would have his mouth sewn shut... again. He later ordered the gag back on during the trial to avoid verbal outrage. He had to admit, though, that Loki didn’t utter a single lie since his mouth was free to articulate again and that was even more sinister, coming from the Liesmith, Master of Deceit, Lord of Mischief and Chaos.




Everybody was talking about the coming trial. Most of the Ǽsir were against the former prince they never really held in their hearts. Some believed that, no matter how heavy the punishment to come, Loki deserved even worse. There were exceptions though.

Odin was very disturbed after one of Frigga’s rare outbursts. She usually didn’t question his decisions, only made subtle suggestions and she’d support him unconditionally, but this time she went on for more than three hours sharply pointing out all the crass parenting mistakes Odin committed towards all of his children. Even worse, she accused, he had forced her and the children’s uncles to be his silent accomplices. The few evenings left until the trial, the Allfather was put to bed utterly drunk, as was his heir, Thor.

Thor knew how he wronged his brother - wait... not-brother - and none of his friends could comfort him. He couldn’t even speak of, it was too embarrassing… Being the elder, mixed with his arrogance, inborn cruelty and the traditional Ǽsir education, led him to believe he had rights over everything and everyone, and had almost no restraint in exercising said rights. The crown prince to a powerful Realm, inspiring awe and intimidating most people with his towering stature, he lived trusting that opposition against him was an offense. Only too late, during his exile on Midgard, did he learn moderation, humbleness and compassion.

Loki’s words echoed in his head no matter how much he drank: “I remember a shadow… living in the shade of your greatness… “. Then he would remember their talk before his official instatement. He knew now that Loki had bared his soul before him in that moment and didn’t speak the faintest lie. He just omitted some ‘minor’ details. Thor was too arrogant and self possessed to even try to analyze what he said. Loki was right; he was a thick oaf, obtuse as the angle wearing the same name. And how did he repay his brother’s love? He took advantage of Loki’s weakness of not being able to see Thor displeased for long, and played on that string whenever. He remembered how many times Loki was blamed and chastised for mischief he only caused to delight his brother. No matter how smart he was, never mind that he knew the consequences won’t favour him; he would still give in to Thor… He constantly went against his better judgment and inclinations just for his elder brother’s appreciation... which he never got. Like Thor’s tongue would fall of if he praised Loki for a work well done.

He was ashamed and sorry and he missed the times when they were close. So he drank himself into a stupor, trying to drown his regrets and numb the pain in his chest.




The Warriors Three and Sif had long debates after Thor was carried to bed by servants, deeply intoxicated.

Volstagg, the Lion of Asgard, didn’t so much mind Loki’s deeds as the distress he’d caused to the royal family the redhead warrior was so devoted to. He actually cared about Loki and was ever befuddled how his riotous kids changed into little angels in the presence of the prankster prince.

“Loki surely has a way with children. I’m almost certain he bewitches them somehow while telling stories of old and singing heroic ballads to them.” He said, but there was more regard than loathing in his voice.

Fandrall the Dashing never liked Loki too much as a person, but he couldn’t forget the ‘deceiving serpent’ was quite courageous if fight occurred and saved the swordsman’s life several times even while he could have lost his own.

“Oh! And the stuff he knows about women, any race they may be, and all the juicy gossip…”

Sif snorted in disdain. She sometimes got a little drunk too, but never too much, just enough to loosen her up so she could carouse with the boys.  She never trusted Loki completely, she only trusted him as a comrade in arms because he proved himself loyal in battle.

“A traitor and a trickster, a sei _ð_ madr – sorcerer –  not honourable at all; and what was that of him disguising Thor, you, Fandrall and himself into old servant ladies to enter the Valkyrjur Corps dressing room? Absolutely shameless! Disgusting!” she said, scrunching he nose and taking another sip of her cup.

 Good thing the Valkyrjur didn’t shy off from brawls even naked, the three only just escaping castration with a nail file and forced to run through more than half of the royal palace in their ‘birthday suits’ to reach Thor’s lodgings.

“That wasn’t Loki’s idea! He even fought against it, but you know Thor…” Hogun blurted indignantly.

He was the most impartial of the lot and tried not to pass judgment. He was Ǽsir by adoption, born in a dark century on Midgard, collected by a Valkyrja just in time before his imminent death and had his own philosophy of life. He could understand Loki’s feelings, but he didn’t find excuses for his deeds.

Fandrall gave him the ‘couldn’t-you-shut-the-fuck-up?!’ look while Sif puffed angrily, threw the rest of what she was chewing at in the fire and called them a bunch of revolting fornicators, heftily drank another large cup of wine and, keeping herself as vertical as she could, dignifiedly left the dining room.




There was one who couldn’t believe the stories passing from mouth to mouth. Mad, bitter, ferocious, brutal, vicious, bloodthirsty, merciless, evil… that couldn’t be Loki! He may have been reckless, a bit envious and spiteful but he was also kind, sensitive and devoted to those he loved, although he tried very hard to conceal that, very hard indeed…  He couldn’t hide it from her, though, not even by magic, because she had magic herself.

They said he wasn’t Ǻs, but Jötunn. So what?! She knew him once, maybe better than he knew himself. The sensations he released in her presence made her vibrate in harmony and she could feel what he felt. She could feel others too, whoever she focused on or had very strong feelings, but with Loki it came naturally. She was an empath and that may have been the reason why she brusquely decided to leave the happy lot and enrol in the V Corps.

She was presently on leave and decided to use the time left to the trial doing research about Loki’s health records. Besides being a Valkyrja – Frigga’s elite corps of women in charge with the internal security, intelligence activities and recruitment of agents or Einheerjar all over the Nine Realms – she was a trained healer for body and mind.  


	2. REMINISCENCE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn remembers

2\. REMINISCENCE

She just turned fifteen, she was the youngest in the gang - except for Baldr but he wasn’t allowed to partake in all of their activities - and her father, Iwaldi, Master Armourer and Creator of Weapons for Asgard, organized a fabulous feast, almost to his ruin, to officially introduce his daughter to the other noble Ǽsir. Sif called it a ‘livestock auction’, referring to the fact that on such occasions the young maidens were often betrothed to ‘the highest bidder’. Sigyn didn’t fear that, her father loved her too much to coldly trade her so.

Of course all her friends were invited too and her mother was in deep despair because of the confirmed presence of Frigga and the three legitimate sons of Odin: Thor, Loki and Baldr. Their older sister, Hildr, was the commanding officer of the V Corps and was not allowed leave at that time. The Allfather himself couldn’t come; some urgent matter of state took hold of him.

“Please, mother, stop fretting! You don’t have anything to prove! Your cooking is the best in this realm; the sons of Odin bear witness!” Sigyn sighed.

“This is different! This won’t be a bunch of hungry children dashing starved in my kitchen after too much play, sitting themselves on the floor around a bushel of pies!”

Nevertheless the evening was a success and Sigyn had almost no time to spend with her friends because of all the women fussing about her and most of the men asking for a dance.

Sometime after midnight, when most of the male part of the guests was drunk and Sigyn could finally sit on her chair more than twenty heartbeats in a row, Loki came asking for a dance.

All the sons of Odin were strikingly good looking that evening: Thor in silver-and-red attire, dark grey trousers and black boots, hair like red liquid gold braided on both sides of his face to prevent it getting in his dishes, Baldr in brown-and-gold, hair longer than Thor’s, only golden, without the reddish hue, traits softer and lips fuller but the same sky blue eyes - same as Odin’s only one -, but Loki caught the eye by contrast. He was wearing green-and-gold, his favourite moss green, black trousers and boots, looking nothing like the other brawny two. The raven black hair was shining like silk and was combed over his head, kept in place with a small gold-and-enamel ornament in the back, a small magpie with spread wings. He was willowy, his skin was much paler since he didn’t spend a lot of his time in the sun and his eyes were as green as his brothers’ were blue. His lips were the colour of raspberry juice and he smiled at her warmly while taking her by the hand and gracefully leading her to the dancing floor.

Sigyn felt the warmth radiating from his core and it was like dying and coming to life again once every minute. She thought this was the happiest day of her life while he was holding her to his heart and slowly swung her around. She wished that wasn’t only a move in the quadrille, but would last an entire dance… He touched her a bit different than the dance required, caressed her fingers, her waist, her shoulder in a way that made her tremble. It was like he really noticed her for the first time and he commenced telling her how sweet her hair smelled, how he would slide into sleep with that scent, when things started to go askew.

Thor, flushed with the drinks he generously helped himself with in spite of Frigga’s advice, headed towards them hastily. Grinning broadly he asked his brother to step aside for he too would have a dance with their little friend, who, by the way, looked exquisitely delicious today. Loki’s smile vanished, his expression darkened and he replied that he would very much like to finish this one dance and Thor may have the next one. Thor couldn’t take no for an answer.

He grumbled: “Know your place, brother!” grabbed Loki’s shoulder and yanked. Several buttons on the high necked tunic gave in and exposed Loki’s long splendid neck. It was tainted by dark purple love bites.

Sigyn felt like a claw to her heart and stepped back. That sight hurt, but wasn’t the worst part. Loki saw she noticed and she felt his growing anger and anguish. He turned his gaze towards Thor and she felt his rage and pain. Then something completely unexpected from Thor: sheer feverish lust, unrestrained passion... and he was staring at his brother. She thought she would faint, but, alas, it didn’t happen. She only lost consciousness when her mind captured Loki’s feelings in response.




Later, when she came to her senses, her mother and Frigga were both doting over her.

“Poor darling, all this excitement was too much for you, wasn’t it?” her mother said watching her intently.

Frigga took one of her hands and gently asked: “What happened on the dance floor, my dear?”

“Your Majesty… I don’t know, really…” Sigyn stuttered, lowering her long, dark lashes.

“What did that big lout of my son say to you?” Frigga enquired. She called Thor her son for after Jörð died she became Thor’s and Hildr’s mother in all but one way.

“Not much, really. He was paying me compliments and asked for a dance.”

“I told you it was the fatigue, my Queen. She helped me all day and then all the commotion…” her mother said.

The Queen didn’t press the issue, but it was clear she knew there was more than what Sigyn cared to tell.




She cut her hair next day, two thick dark blond braids, and gave them to Sif.

“Hand them to Loki. He will understand.”

“What in the Nine did he do to make you disfigure yourself this way?! I could kill him right on the spot! He’s always scheming foul plots!” Sif yelled, embracing Sigyn so hard that she wrought the breath out of her.

“It wasn’t his doing, my dearest friend, it was only me…”

The same day she enlisted for the V Corps and left without saying good bye to her other friends.

At dinner Sif slammed the two heavy, silky braids on the table in front of Loki, propped herself on both fists in front of him, nose very close to his, staring straight in his eyes and snarled through her teeth: “She said you’d know why. Why?”

He frowned, answered nothing, slowly picked up the hair like it was sacred and left the dining room. The others could only see his straight drawn back, not his eyes brimming with tears and his trembling chin. 

Word spread that Loki the Trickster cut off one of his girlfriend’s hair, just for the fun of it. No decent woman wanted anything to do with him anymore. He could resort to whores for all they cared.


	3. TRIAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feels...

3\. TRIAL

Thor was struggling between two antagonistic wishes: to see Loki, be in his presence or to run far away, to hide from Loki’s scolding gaze that would only rip his heart deeper. He couldn’t confide in his friends. He feared the revelation would be too much for them to handle. Every day he tried to go visit the prisoner, but when he came close he would only ask the guards how Loki was and then go back to his quarters.

One day he bumped into a Valkyrja. She was strangely familiar but he couldn’t remember right away. She was about five foot eight tall, fit, everything in the right place, not too much, not too slight, long agile legs, beautiful traits, sweeter than Sif’s or his sister’s, big hazel eyes with a touch more green than brown, slanting dark brows, slightly upturned nose and a perfect bow of pouty lips. She wasn’t dressed in full ceremonial gear, but the half thigh long tunic, clinging trousers, distinctive belt buckle and vambraces and the winged light headdress left no doubt of her membership to the V Corps. Her very unusual feature was the way she wore her hair: cut very short in the back and a touch longer on the sides of her face, something he’d often seen in Midgard, but never in Asgard where women were very attached to their hair. Even Sif had it flowing to the middle of her back, though it was worn in a warrior’s fashion.

She halted abruptly and just stared at him a few seconds before she remembered to salute properly: right fist to the heart. Hierarchically he was the superior rank, but she didn’t have to follow his orders if not specified so by the Allmother. He saluted back and the ‘at ease’ came as a reflex. 

She seemed slightly amused and that shadow of a smile brought back memories of what now seemed so long ago.

“Sigyn? Is that really you?”

Impulsive as he was, Thor grabbed her into a hefty embrace. She only seemed uncomfortable for a heartbeat, than responded likewise. She felt nothing but honest happiness radiating from an old acquaintance.

“’Pon me word! I thought I’ll never see you again! How long has it been, seven, eight years?” He asked, wide smile on his face.

“Eleven Asgard years, Thor...” She answered evenly. Sigyn was away for centuries in terms of time running on Midgard. Time in Asgard was slowed by magic devices, but Asgard years were just years to its quasi-immortal inhabitants.

“Look at you! Last we saw each other you were that cute, almost silent little thing my brother always dragged along when he chose to join us… You’ve become an astonishing woman!” he said admiringly.

“Actually it wasn’t Loki… it was Volstagg. I used to bribe him with my mother’s pies.” She smiled in remembrance.”The rest of you thought me too small and insignificant to belong to your bunch. Except, maybe, for Sif, she seemed to enjoy another girl around.”

“Still, I remember Loki being very fond of you. I was even jealous sometimes; he was so quick to respond to your requests while always commenting on mine endlessly.” Thor said, not knowing what he was stirring.” Have you been visiting him?” he asked with an uncertain hope.

“Sorts of… I’ve been observing him without being seen and I’ve been talking to the guards. Thor… he isn’t well… in many ways. There’s something broken inside his mind… Will you please talk to your father? Tell him he desires death, craves for it… Tell the Allfather it is a trained healer’s assessment. He can call my record to his attention.”

The way she spoke, her tone, tightened Thor’s throat. He frowned and asked:

“Why don’t you tell him personally? As a V Corps officer you have the right to ask for a private audience outside the program.”

She shook her head. “The time is short and I still have a lot of research to do so I might help him.”

“Maybe if I spoke to him… Maybe I could bring him to reason…” he frowned.

“No, you can’t. Stay away from him, at least for a while. He blames himself more than he blames you, but right now you’d only make things worse.”

He looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. She was talking as if…

“What has he told you?” he asked, with a dark look in his eyes.

“He’s told me nothing.” She sighed. “I am endowed with the gift... or curse of empathy. I guess I’ve felt something long time ago, but I was too young to understand it fully. I had the revelation at my birthday feast...”

Thor’s face went from disbelief to shame and finally to sorrow. He lowered his eyes and murmured: “Surely you loathe me deeply…”

Sigyn took one of his hands and squeezed kindly. “You’re mistaken. I understand better now. I’m older; I’ve been to many places, seen more, lived through so much more…” She quickly wiped a tear running on Thor’s cheek. “Let us go to some private place, these things are not to be discussed in the hallways.”




This wasn’t to be some common trial. This was a prince of royal blood, even if not Ǽsir. Odin restricted the access for the public, but couldn’t do so for the Court members.

The great hall was full long before the Council gathered. There was a noise like that of a beehive.

“Did you speak to the Allfather?” Sigyn asked Thor.

“I did. He said your assessment will be taken into account.” He answered, but he didn’t look less worried.

They drew closer, shoulder touching arm, as to comfort each other. This time it was Thor who sought her fingers.

Four Einheerjar brought Loki in. The noise stopped and there was an eerie silence. Hundreds of eyes sat on the prisoner. He was properly dressed, but not as painstakingly meticulous as he used to, as if he wanted to keep his dignity, but wasn’t interested in the visual effect. He was walking firmly, spine upright, eyes gleaming viciously above the gag, fists clenched. He was the very image of spite.

“Look at him. He looks like he calls for the worst sentence.” Sigyn whispered.

Thor sighed deeply. “He’s been like that lately, pushing for punishment, for damage, as severe as possible.”

Heimdall blew the Gjallarhorn announcing the entrance of the High Council accompanying The Allfather. Everybody bent one knee and saluted, except for Loki. One could actually guess his wicked grin under the gag.

Odin was obviously annoyed, but he’s been expecting nothing less. Frigga’s chest rose in one deep, resigned sigh. She noticed Sigyn and Thor close together, hand in hand and smiled faintly, her eyes remaining sad.

Forseti unrolled a scroll and began reading the accusations. The procedure stretched over at least twenty earthly minutes. Although the High Lord of Justice kept an equal voice trying not to emphasize any of his words, the audience started muttering. The sound was menacing like an approaching thunder.

Sigyn pressed Thor’s fingers searching for strength. She felt the hostility of the crowd physically and it hurt her. She tried to hang on to the feeble strands of love and compassion coming from only a handful of people.

Thor was the closest, but not of much help. The storm of feelings inside him troubled her even more. He felt like a wounded animal, loving and detesting Loki all together, wanting to embrace and hit him at the same time. He felt guilty and was tensed like a bow’s cord.

Fandrall was also feeling bad because Loki saved his precious arse numerous times. He didn’t feel very inclined, but decided to do the honourable thing: to speak for Loki as soon as he had an opportunity.

Hogun wished he could be neutral. He tried hard. His righteous heart found guilt not only in the accused, but also in the soul of Asgard. He believed that the punishment or alteration should go both ways.

Sif wanted Loki punished. Not dead, but rightfully punished. He deserved it and may learn from it.

Volstagg was prone to remember only the good times. He pitied Loki right then.

Frigga was grieving. She subtly wiped her eyes and sighed from time to time. Neither Thor, nor Loki was of her womb, only Baldr, but he appeared later, after she was already in love with the other sons of her husband. Thor was the swift summer tempest, all joy, movement, noise and life, wrestling out of her arms as soon as he spotted his father, while Loki was cuddling closer, intimidated by the Allfather’s majesty, big green eyes with long, trembling black lashes beseeching her not to let him go. Although he reverently loved Odin, he never completely lost that shyness towards him, not even as an adult. And he was ever so affectionate, not embarrassed to hug and kiss her in public as Thor grew in time. To her heart he was son and daughter at the same time.

Now he was cuffed, gagged, branded and looking so wretched, so forlorn, that it broke her heart.

The Allfather was also suffering. Memories have been plaguing him all night and the things Frigga had said to him, backed up by Sigyn’s assessment… It felt like each accusation was aimed at him, not at Loki. Compared to his own life long deceptions, plots and violence, Loki’s were mere children’s games. One would think that he was beyond remorse after being king for so long, but wrong decisions and evil deeds still bit at him unkindly.

 Suddenly a voice from the crowd shouted: “Kill the Jötun fiend!” Other voices rose. “Kill the monster!”

Odin stood and roared: “Silence!” He banged Gungnir’s hilt to the floor. The sound fell heavy and everyone froze. “Have you all forgotten Bestla, wife of Bor? Have you all forgotten my Jötun mother and other venerated giant ancestors? What is this lack of reverence in Valaskjálf, our great Hall of the Slain?!”

Silence fell. Then Bragi, the Court’s certified poet and Eloquence Master, stepped forward and said in a mellifluous voice: “My King, but he has no Ǽsir blood flowing through his veins…”

“Be quiet, you abject fool!”Odin growled.”I gave him of my blood to change his appearance, to make him look like one of us, to spare him the intolerance!” He looked over the crowd and added: “Guard your tongues for Loki is truly a son of my blood, if not of my flesh.”

Loki’s eyes sparkled madly. The full extent of the revelation nauseated him. He had come to peace with certain issues in his past after the fall in the abyss only to have them thrown back in his face, to his even greater anguish. He moaned as loud as the gag would let him and banged his heavily shackled wrists against the closest guard’s back armour. Caught by surprise, the man fell on all fours and the other three hastily restrained the wildly thrashing captive.

Thor was jittery too. If it wasn’t for Sigyn holding him back, he would have wrought Bragi’s neck in front of the entire gathered crowd. The infamous scoundrel was rancorous because Loki beat him to his trade whenever he well pleased to and seduced his wife once. Loki rhymed like no other and had such a superb manner of reciting or singing that moved all listeners. His profound and meaningful voice needed no enhancement, it was magical in itself. Bragi’s wife, Idunn, fell to Loki’s charm once and, while he fucked her wits away, Thor, Fandrall and Volstagg managed to snatch some of the magic fruit from her well guarded orchard.

“May the Norns curse your fate, you crawling pest! You never had the guts to challenge my brother like a real warrior!”Thor thundered.

Sigyn shushed him. Loki threw him a killer look that practically yelled ‘not-your-brother-and-shut-up-you-great-oaf!!!’

Half of the Court chortled. Loki’s shenanigans were quite famed. He didn’t actually have to blow his own horn, Thor and his friends were more than happy to recount and embellish all the spicy stories they knew of.

“Silence!” Odin bellowed.”This trial will not be turned into a mummery!” He paused and circled the hall with his one bright blue eye. “You heard the charges. There were witnesses to each infringement. Who wishes to speak in defence of the accused?”

The Allfather looked quite surprised seeing four hands in the air. He thought he would have to pass judgment directly, since Loki was undeniably guilty. There was Frigga, Fandrall, Thor and Sigyn wishing to speak for Loki.

Forseti rose from his seat and spoke: “I should advise the Royal Family members and close friends to refrain from speaking in this hall. Their fairness _will_ be questioned.”

Sigyn resolutely started forward. Nobody could guess how her heart was pounding, like ahead of battle, the pulse stuffing her ears. Her voice sounded strong and clear when she said: “I believe I don’t qualify as any. I should ask for the Council’s consent to speak for the accused as a skilled healer for body and mind. I should also state for testimony that I was not in any way in touch with the accused for the past eleven years.”

Forseti looked at his Council fellows and they nodded their permission. Sigyn stated her assessment in a flat voice, also explaining how she reached her conclusions. She made it as short and comprehensive as possible, using plain words to avoid boredom or confusion. She kept it as cold and unfeeling as she could and never revealed the hypothetical roots of Loki’s condition. Those were not for the ears of the public.

“Cases as such have never before been studied in our realm, but other realms have experience and knowledge. The accused isn’t a real threat any more due to the treatment he’s undergone at his arrival, so I kindly ask the privilege of taking him under my custody in order to continue my study and help his mind heal. I should add that I have access to the necessary means to care for him and keep him under control. If required, I will provide details to the Council in private.” She finished.

            Frigga had long since covered her eyes and sobbed silently, face turned from the crowd. Thor almost choked on his own urge to bawl. Sif, Fandrall and Volstagg looked appalled. Hogun frowned. A number of ladies over which Loki had bestowed his attentions now and then sighed inconsolably. Odin kept a frozen expression and stiffly accompanied the Council members when they withdrew to deliberate. Loki stared at Sigyn with bloodshot eyes, full of hatred, panting and shivering and he would probably froth at the mouth if he wasn’t muzzled.




At some moment, the Council sent for Sigyn. After that they didn’t take long to reach the verdict.

Loki’s insanity was declared the cause of his actions and a sick man needed healing, not further chastisement. Sigyn the Valkyrja was released from her duties to perform as Loki’s personal healer, but kept her rank, pay and place in the V Corps. Loki was to be put under her custody and they were both to leave to an undisclosed place, which was to remain known only to The Allfather and the Council. He wasn’t to receive any further physical punishment, but he was to remain stripped of his magic indefinitely. The sentence was to be enforced as soon as all the necessary arrangements were made. Sigyn was to report regularly on Loki’s progress if any.

They didn’t allow him to speak for himself. It was deemed irrelevant, considering the state of his mind.

There were no farewells when he was sent away.


	4. ISLAND

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angry, scared and insecure in an unexpected ambient, Loki doesn't react well...

Sigyn was more than a bit nervous. She left early to make last minute arrangements and to make a couple of phone calls. When she was somewhat contented she checked her Midgardian wardrobe frowning at the items she pulled out. Since the two were acquainted, Pepper had gone through a lot of pain explaining the latest fashion to the , style and so on. She decided for black tights, a long V-necked yellow T-shirt with some colourful prints and light espadrilles. Then she went to the beach near the house, looked up and said loudly:

 

“All right, Heimdall, I’m ready, tell Odin he can send him to me.”

 

A strange cloud started to build on the sky. It gathered strength in seconds and shot a tornado-like tail to the ground. Sigyn was well away from the sand storm and waited for the dust to settle. As the air cleared she could make out a slim silhouette struggling to rise to a standing position. The awkward movements puzzled her, so she approached squinting through the still whirling sand. She grasped one elbow and pulled Loki out of the dust cloud.

 

“Oh, dear! I told them those won’t be necessary here!” She said, sighting the gag and the shackles hexed to open at anyone’s touch but Loki’s.

Sigyn put one knee to the ground fumbling at the ankle cuffs. Loki sneezed painfully through his nose. She freed his hands still kneeling, aching inside at the sight of the burned wounds on both sides of his palms. She opened up her mind expecting to meet anger and threat, but found panic and hurt instead. He was panting and darting glances around. She rose slowly and put soothing hands at the base of his neck. Her look rested briefly on the scorched signs like a raw band on his forehead, then settled in his eyes.

 

“Everything’s going to be fine.” She said in a gentle voice then clicked the gagging device open.

 

Loki coughed. He started to say something, but his voice wouldn’t obey. He cleared his throat and tried again.”Isn’t this Midgard?”He spoke hoarsely.

 

“Yes, it is.”

 

 “The perfect choice!” he snapped.” It’s the very place where I was deemed a war criminal and you have the nerve to tell me everything’s going to be fine?!”

 

He turned to figure out the surroundings.

 

“You’re safe here. This island belongs to a friend, it is private property. No one will bother us, the owner himself will warn before he would visit.”Sigyn said.

 

“How many Midgardians know I’m here?” He asked finally looking intently at her.

 

“A man, a woman and an A.I. … machine.” She answered.

 

“I know the meaning: artificial intelligence… I also know people can be tortured and computers can be hacked into! And how could I trust Stark?! I tried to kill him more than once!”His voice rose gradually, a shout at the end.

 

“Please quiet yourself and let me lead you to the house. We’ll be more comfortable, it’s cooler in there and there are refreshments…” Sigyn tried.

 

“Why didn’t they simply kill me?!” Loki screamed, fists balled, face turned up, anger and despair in his eyes.

 

Sigyn sighed, looked at him kindly and replied in a gentle voice: “Can’t you tell? Because they love you, Loki.”

 

“Love!”He spat the word, eyes wet. “Trying to beat me to pulp then separating me from the universal magic stream and delivering me helpless to my foes, banishing me from the only home I ever knew… If this is love, than I’m terrified to imagine what they’d do to me if they hated me!”

His knees were shivering and he was fighting to breathe evenly. He looked so pale and haggard… Sigyn reached out a hand.

 

“They had to do something; you weren’t behaving very kindly yourself. Come please, it is too hot out here. We’ll talk inside.”

 

All of a sudden Loki attacked her, a wicked grimace on his face. He pulled her down, trying to pin her to the ground. He moved fast, but not fast enough. Sigyn reacted instantly and, from being flat on her belly, close to be immobilized; she turned like an eel and caught Loki’s neck between her knees, ankles crossed behind his head, squeezing hard enough to choke him. Sparring with the Black Widow has left its mark. Loki struggled to get free, but she clenched his legs under her arms. He dug his nails into her thighs trying to escape, but soon started to give out strangled sounds and turn bluish. Sigyn allowed him a mouthful of air, than squeezed again.

 

“Did you really need to sample my fight skills, _Loki Laufeyjarson_?” she hissed through clenched teeth. “Did you honestly think you could defeat a well trained Valkyrja at her peak, weakened as you are?”

She lowered the pressure. Loki coughed and croaked, eyes brimming with tears: “Break my neck! Kill me _now_!”

Sigyn felt his hopelessness like a punch in the stomach. Her limbs went limp. She sat herself in the sand, and stared aggrieved at him.

“How could I? We were best friends once… “She sighed, her eyes filling with tears too.

Face contorted in pain, neck muscles tight, veins swollen, he yelled: ”You _left_!” His sobs broke her heart. “You were my _only_ true friend and you just left without a word! Have you any inkling how it felt when Sif smacked your ‘departing gift’ on the dinner table in front of me?! Can you even remotely imagine how much I struggled to understand?! Did you know I had a pillow stuffed with your hair and placed it in a casket to keep its scent? Did you even read my letters? And after eleven years you dare show up at my trial and give the Council an assessment concerning my mental health?”By now tears were streaming on his face freely. He balled his fists and punched the ground growling, feeling thoroughly humiliated by his emotional outburst. Eyes closed tightly, he agonizingly fought to steady his breath.

Sigyn crawled closer to him on her knees. She put her arms around his shoulders and pulled him hard to her heart, wet cheek pressed against his. Caught by surprise he didn’t push her away. He started to fight back weakly, not for long though. He stopped, but didn’t hug her back; he just allowed the contact, starved for the touch as he was.

“I was a brainless child, didn’t know how to handle difficult things, so I ran away… Forgive me!”She pleaded.

She felt different than last time he had held her close. She was a full grown woman now, not a 15 year old child. Her full, firm breasts were pushing at his chest. He could feel the tips through the thin layers of fabric. Her scent was filling his nostrils, same as he remembered, fresh like the first flowers of spring, same as the faint scent of her hair in his pillow…

“I kept your letters, but never opened them.”She whispered, her breath fanning his neck.

Loki’s chest began lifting shallower and he felt the rush of blood to his lower abdomen. He cursed his promptness in his mind.

Sigyn abruptly let go. Her cheeks flushed, she rose and started towards the house.

“Are you finally coming, or do I have to drag you along?”She grunted without looking back. 

He felt too uneasy to object, so he rose and followed.




The house appeared squat and vast, cubist, all intertwined angles and curves, façade almost entirely made of large, dark windows, see-through only from the inside. It was nicely set in the tropical landscape, and almost half of it was built on pillars right over the sea. That side was a large covered terrace including an impressive transparent swimming pool. One could see the bottom of the sea and nosy fish tasting the strange hard water wall.

Once inside, Loki recognized Tony’s familiar touch: masculine elegance, opulence and supreme leisure, all in earth colours. Sigyn crossed the spacious living room and opened a sliding door.

“This will be your chamber… that is if it’s to your liking. It has its own bathroom, over there, and I took the liberty of supplying your closets with suitable clothing. I prepared a set on your bed. If you can’t figure out how it’s worn, what diverse items serve for or how they work, feel free to address the A.I. running this house. It’s called…”

“Jarvis, I know. It serves all of Tony Stark’s residences and his mechanical armour.” He said dully. ”I will be under incessant scrutiny. Lovely, what? Do you dwell here too? Can you stand the thought that you can be watched _all_ the time?”

“Heimdall does the same. You only mind because you used to conceal yourself in magic.” Sigyn answered. “If it is of any relief to you, I am authorized to remove the embarrassing records of the day before they are to be stored.”

“Don’t tell me you really believe Stark has given you the control over _his_ machine!” Loki scoffed.

She smiled playfully. “Of course I don’t trust Tony completely; he’s as mischievous and volatile as you are, dear _Lopt_. But there is one I _do_ trust to make sure Tony keeps his promises.”

Loki winced at the name she called him. Only two people in the whole of Asgard called him that... He dismissed the thought quickly.

He pondered a little. “Ah! Miss Potts…”

“You know things!”

“I had better! How should I have considered defeating my opponents if I had not gathered all the intelligence I possibly could? Both the Archer and Erik Selvig were very helpful at that.” He replied grinning.

He took a minute to look around. The room was spacious, but not intimidating, same combination of angles and curves as everything in and outside the house. There was a wall of slide-doors closets, a mammoth bed, a cosy reading or chatting corner with a sofa, two armchairs and a mahogany coffee table, a huge screen on a wall currently displaying a winter landscape - that one forced out a bitter smile - a writing desk with a directorial chair in another corner and some other smaller items he would check later. The wooden pieces were all in dark African mahogany. The walls, carpeting and upholstery were in beige, ivory and greens. The metal pieces were in gold. Someone took pains to ‘feather his nest’ in his favourite colours, but he wasn’t going to give any sign of appreciation. On the contrary, he searched for something to criticize.

“Does this house have a library?”He coldly asked.

“Jarvis?” Sigyn asked, already knowing the answer.

A calm voice came from nowhere. “Madam, Sir, if you’d care to approach the desk…”

A section of the table-top slowly flipped to bring forth a keyboard and a display.

“Mr. Laufeyson, if you are not familiar with computers I will gladly operate it for you until you learn. Now, would you like to refresh yourself, or have something to eat first?”Jarvis offered.

This was all too perfect; if it weren’t for the emptiness where magic flew once, the longing for those he loved and the fears haunting him, all would seem a vacation, welcome respite from the latter frenzy. 




After Loki expressed the wish to cleanse himself, Sigyn retired discreetly. He used the shower asking Jarvis short questions from time to time. He found out that it was Sigyn’s mind behind the arrangements made for him. Not only the colours, but also the scents of the personal hygiene items and cosmetics in the bathroom were carefully chosen to match his tastes. He was really surprised she noticed so many things about him and wondered how she could remember so many details after so long.

He finally finished showering and trying all the stuff in the bathroom as Jarvis instructed, then returned to the room, wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe, dabbing his hair with a towel - he didn’t like the feel of the dryer Jarvis suggested -.

His keen sense of observation told him something changed. There was a brown, square china tray on the coffee table with delicate cheese bits, grapes, some other fruit and buttered baguette slices. There was also a small honey bowl and a tall glass of something he remembered Barton calling ‘ice-tea’, with ice cubes floating in it, a lemon slice and a mint sprig decorating it.

“This is only an appetizer, Sir. Dinner will be served in two hours. There are other drinks in the mini-bar – a little green light pulsed on a cabinet door – If you wish to join Lady Sigyn, she will be in the living room soon.”

“I’m sure this will be more than enough dinner for me. I never matched Thor’s appetite.”Loki replied. “Please let Lady Sigyn know that I will remain in this room for the evening and go to bed early.”

“Very well, Sir, but I think she will be rather disappointed. She was hoping for your company.”

“I should be poor company right now. Tell her not to worry; you’ll watch me nonetheless…”

He silently nibbled a few mouthfuls. The choice was excellent, but he had no appetite. Instinctively he tried to clean the table by magic. Nothing happened. He wrought his hands in despair. He was sobbing before he reached the bed. He buried his face in the pillow punching it, angry with himself for the lack of self control. Later he woke and pulled the light cover around him, only to fall asleep again.


	5. HERITAGE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of Jotun anatomy and physiology... Alien but not completely. Warnings of pseudo incest, dub-con and dirty plotting with hurtful results for the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thrilled to see some of my favourite writers for this fandom visited my work. I hope you all enjoy...

                    

Loki woke up feeling utterly miserable. He had a moment of confusion, than he muttered a curse. His lower abdomen ached, his breasts were slightly swollen and pained and the excessive wetness between his thighs confirmed that he was experiencing one of his infrequent periods. He usually dealt with them speeding them up with magic and got rid of the annoyance in about ten minutes. It was different now; he had to bear with it like any non-magical mammal.

He remembered the shocking first time, when he had to tell his mother – no, Frigga –. How could he forget?

She warned him long time ago, when he was a bit more than a little child, that he was somewhat different and he had to carefully keep covered in the presence of others. Later, when he grew, she explained more and he always believed that he was a very special and rare case. She never told him that, for an instance, Freyr and Freya were like him, their mother and grandmother being of the Jötnar. Freyr developed a male appearance and dominant masculine genitals while Freya was presenting all the attributes of feminity, the only outer sign that she was different being half an inch of a diminutive prick in the place a woman would have had a clitoris. If he knew that and had access to any written references Odin hid from his reach would have been a hint of the significant heritage in his blood. ‘I’m an oddity...’ he thought and since such strangeness was undoubtedly to be labelled disgraceful, he became a master in concealment. It wasn’t too difficult, the difference from Ǽsir males was barely noticeable, the slit between his testes only visible under specific circumstances. He would mask it with magic later, after he became skilled enough, so he could be comfortably seen in the nude.

He’d hoped the female part would never become active. For a while his hope seemed reasonable, his body growing as any normal boy’s, except for the lack of pilosity. He only had brows, lashes and the hair on his skull, which was another cause for distress. He was smoother than anyone he knew, unmanly...

 Years passed and all the girls his age were already having their blood days regularly. He didn’t. Not until months after his sixteenth birthday. He locked himself in his room that day and cried bitterly. He didn’t allow anyone to enter, except for Frigga. She soothed him, provided him with soft pads, talked to him and stood with him for the two first worst days. He wasn’t skilled enough yet in the use of seiðr to be rid of it in haste, but Frigga taught him some healing spells in the meantime.

By the fifth evening the bleeding had lessened to a mere trickle and he was enough at ease to join his brothers and their friends for dinner.

“We were worried about you, brother!” Baldr said.

He was thirteen and was permitted to attend Thor’s fairly loose dinner gatherings only rarely and was never allowed to stay till the end.

“Mother said you were unwell, had a fever…” His innocent blue eyes were anxiously examining Loki’s pale face.

 “I’m better now.”Loki smiled at him, fondly patting one peach-soft cheek. He loved his younger brother as everybody else did. Baldr was innately incapable of thinking or understanding evil. Loki found that endearing, but troublesome. Life wasn’t all beauty and bliss.

He put his arm around his younger brother’s shoulders and advanced to the table. Thor’s roaring laughter, accompanied by others’, was louder than the music some minstrels played in a corner. Loki sighed spotting the empty pitchers of mead and wine tossed aside.

“Look what the _katt_ dragged in! Make place for my gorgeous young brothers! I wish them both by my sides!” Thor bellowed. He’d just turned nineteen and was already a beefy young man, able to overcome older warriors in the training yard.

The other guests obeyed and squeezed to free the places at Thor’s left and right. Servants hurried to bring fresh tableware and cups for the two princes.

Thor was drunk enough to be obnoxious. As soon as the two were seated he grabbed them both by their napes and kissed them heartily on their mouths. He placed a short smack on Baldr’s lips, but he planted a wet and insistent one on Loki’s. To his horror, Loki felt Thor’s tongue snaking between his lips. He felt slightly aroused, but roughly pushed Thor away with a grimace. Baldr only rolled his eyes and ostentatiously wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

“Always an embarrassment, brother…”Loki hissed.”You should have freed these places for some willing wenches, since you’re in such an amorous mood.”

The kissing wasn’t something new, Thor mockingly manhandling Loki to show him how to make out with girls for at least two years now. He resented that behaviour in public because he would usually get hard with all the touching and had to retreat hastily to avoid further humiliation. He would play along in private though, just to have the satisfaction of beating Thor at his own game. After a round of feverish kissing, hugging and touching, Thor would always break the embrace and hurry away flushed and cursing. Loki would forever wonder why his brother kept continuing these frustrating games.

Thor looked at him strangely, like he’d noticed something he’d never seen before. Loki started to feel uncomfortable and naked under his elder brother’s hot gaze.

“What are you staring at? Did I unknowingly grow horns?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“You _glow_ , brother, and you smell so good…”Thor murmured in awe.

“This I will not have! You’re going too far with the mockery, Thor!”Loki barked and jumped to his feet.

Thor had called him a girl many times before and so did his friends sometimes, but today Thor was outshining himself with what seemed veiled sarcasm and Loki was overly touchy on the matter any way. He left the table so fast that Thor couldn’t catch him, so he also rose and followed his younger sibling in a hurry. The other guests didn’t mind them, one or the other or even pairs did commonly leave the table for inconsistent lengths of time.


	6. ENTWINED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explicit. Sex. Pseudo incest. Disturbed and disturbing. You have been warned. Stay away if it repels you. Stay with me if you're a fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to all the wonderful authors that write awesome sex scenes. I hope you enjoy and it isn't total crap...

                                                          

Loki heard the heavy steps following him. He looked back and saw Thor. A sense of dread rose in him and he hastened his pace. The other started running behind. Normally he could outrun Thor anytime, but his condition of late seemed to have negative side effects on his energy. He reached his rooms and tried to close the heavy door and lock it, but Thor slipped a foot between the door and its frame and shouldered it aside like it was nothing.

Loki’s hair rose at the back of his neck. He strained and looked at his elder brother like an angered wild cat.

“Remove yourself from my chambers, Thor!”He spat.

The Thunderer slowly closed the door and drew the latch. He advanced towards Loki with a hungry look in his eyes.

“Be off and let me be!” Loki tried again, backing away, fists clenched.

Thor unexpectedly jumped forward and grabbed Loki in a steely embrace, brutally crushing his lips with his own.

Loki bit him viciously, than spat. “Are you mad, brother?” He yelled, angered by the fact that he wanted more.”Let go of me or I will cast on you the most painful spell I know!”

“You forgot our father shielded me against dark magic.”Thor mumbled and sucked at Loki’s neck, completely disregarding the bleeding lip.

“You’re a disgusting beast!” Loki shouted and struggled to free himself from Thor’s grip.

He was appalled at how much he _liked_ it. He _loved_ Thor’s hot lips and tongue on his skin and could hardly refrain from responding in kind. The Thunderer only clutched tighter, continued sucking and biting at his neck and, to his panic, Loki felt the other’s hard cock pressing against him.

He couldn’t call out; the shame would be too great, for both him and Thor. Besides, the blame would probably be cast on him, Loki the Trickster, Loki the Devious, like most of the times. He stopped squirming and kicked Thor’s ankle as hard as he could. Then he began summoning restrictive magic to bind him. The blow angered his brother and he punched Loki hard in the jaw, hurling him dizzied on the floor. Before he could wholly come to his senses, Thor savagely ripped at his clothes and tore his light tunic and shirt to pieces. He pinned Loki’s arms above his head, panting heavily, then stopped and frowned.

Loki blinked the after blow away. Thor was staring at his chest. The swelling was still there and his brother gawked at the two tiny soft mounds with the swollen pink nipples moving up and down with each ragged breath Loki took.

Thor’s breath became panting and he straddled Loki keeping his arms restrained. Then he began suckling.

Loki whimpered in pain. “Please, brother, stop… You’re hurting me…”He moaned. The suckling stopped, but turned to licking. He was so taken aback with the sensation that he arched his spine and gasped for air.

Thor raised his head and stared at him. He loosened his grip for a few moments. The yearning in his eyes brought Loki’s heartbeat to a gallop. His own desire was choking him. There was a sudden spark in his heated brain: he had to make it look like rape, he had to coerce Thor rape him to make him feel guilty and blackmail him later for whatever purpose. O, sweet revenge for all the compelling Thor did!

He took advantage of Thor’s distraction to free his arms and punch him in the face with all the strength he could gather. His rings broke the skin on his brother’s cheekbone. The Thunderer growled and hit back. He caught Loki’s temple. Blackness fell.




When Loki woke he was stark naked and his head was throbbing from the last blow. His whole body hurt, but his private parts and bottom felt like one big burning wound in spite of the chilling fluids dribbling over. His plan worked far too well for his own good. He didn’t expect his brother to hit him so hard, even drunk, and he didn’t expect him to abuse him while unconscious.

Thor was lying on top of him catching his breath. He lifted his head and whispered: “You _are_ a girl… but you are a boy too… You’re both and it’s amazing…”He groaned and bowed to kiss Loki, his breath heavy with the smell of drink.”Don’t bite. I do not wish to hurt you further.”He warned.

He pressed his lips to Loki’s. As the only response was a repulsing twitch, he pushed down Loki’s jaw with his hand to open his mouth. He kissed again, deeper, softer. The lips beneath his trembled a little; he sucked on them, licked them and nibbled, growing hungrier, rubbing the delicate skin of Loki’s face raw with the stubbles of his beard. The tongue went probing the silky inside of Loki’s mouth. His younger sibling whimpered squirming under his touch and Thor rose to look at him. The lean, pale, moonlit body was driving him crazy. His cock was hard again next to Loki’s pubis.

“No! Please! Stop doing this to me!” Loki begged hastily, raising his head and pleading with his eyes. He hurt so bad that he feared he’d have to scream if Thor so much as touched his openings.

The Thunderer rose to his knees and yanked his sibling’s rump on his lap. Loki let his head fall back on the floor with a thump. He looked away and desperately tried to summon a numbing spell. He couldn’t concentrate. His body started shivering uncontrollably. Stifled sobs were shaking his chest. The shame of being so helpless was chocking him.

            “You’re bleeding…”Thor finally noticed. He frowned and looked at Loki’s face. All there was to see was anguish, pain and shame, tears trickling down his temples into the line of his hair, the purpled punch and bite marks. Gone was the insolence, haughtiness and spite, gone the mischief and trickery. Thor gripped and rubbed his forehead. The adrenaline rush, the sight of Loki’s broken expression and brutalized body pulled him out from the drunken muddle. He looked at his younger sibling again, this time in shame and distress. He moved back and to the side then rose to one knee and lifted Loki in his arms.

Loki flinched. He weakly tried to push Thor away.

“It’s all right, little brother, I won’t hurt you any more, I’m so sorry…”Thor mumbled and laid Loki on his bed. He rushed to the wash basin and soaked a towel. He returned to his sibling and cleaned him gently. Loki shuddered at every touch. By the time Thor finished, his own face was streaked with tears too and he was sniffling loudly. He kept saying ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me!’, but he couldn’t look Loki in the eyes.

In the end he delicately placed a dry soft towel between Loki’s thighs, pulled the covers over his shivering frame and climbed onto the bed. The Trickster drew his knees to his chest, back turned to his brother. Thor sobbed loudly lying heartbroken behind Loki, holding him close to his heart. He rocked him tenderly like he used to when they were children and little Loki was having bad dreams.

All Loki could think of was that Thor desired him regardless of his deformity and most likely would be the only one that ever will.

They wept together into sleep.




Loki woke first. Thor was too hot against his back. He gingerly lifted the burly arm from around his waist and moved away. The pain stung him. He silently cursed then took a deep breath, moved his hands to gather a strand of magic energy, coiled it and whispered a spell:” … _geiri undathr, bazt sialfr…_ (…wounded by a spear, better myself …)”, then he pushed the gathered orb of healing magic towards his groin. It prickled pleasantly and the pain slowly withdrew. He repeated the spell until there was no pain left. He sighed relieved that it worked in spite of his clumsiness at healing spells because there was no way he could go to the Healing Rooms. Eir would have informed Odin of such injuries without delay and it would have been impossible even for him to cover the truth. He would have had to reveal sordid details and mix them with some credible lies…

He slipped off the bed when somebody knocked at the door.

“Loki? Are you all right?”Baldr asked from behind it.”You and Thor never made it back to the dining hall last night. You got me worried.”

Loki grabbed a robe, put it on and buttoned its neck, shot a glance to check if Thor was decently covered, pushed some discarded clothes over the stains on the floor then opened the door. He managed a completely innocent and bright smile towards his younger brother.

“Shhh! Thor was too drunk last night and crashed in my bed. He’s still sleeping. I didn’t want to leave him by himself in my rooms, he’s so rudely prying when it comes to my personal belongings, you know?”

Baldr froze in shock. “What in the name of the Nine Realms happened to you?” He whispered, pointing at Loki’s face.

The Trickster mentally cursed his omission. He pretended he didn’t know what his little brother meant and went to the mirror, then rolled his eyes and whispered back: ”You know Thor… the mindless lout! He doesn’t know his own strength, especially when drunk.”

Baldr came closer, shot a side glance and went very pale. “There’s blood in the washbasin...” He weakly murmured.

Loki swallowed and swiftly reached for the basin to go empty it in his bath chamber. “He broke my nose too…”He said displaying a sour smile.

Luckily it was Baldr he was lying to. His nose was untouched, but the boy seemed satisfied with the justification.

Thor yawned loudly and stretched like a big cat flinging the covers aside. Loki barely had the time to spin Baldr away from the unseemly sight. Not that nakedness was unusual amongst Ǽsir, but Thor was naked amidst Loki’s _blood stained_ sheets.

An idea hit in. “For the love of the nine daughters of Ran, Thor!”Loki yelled. “Where are your smallclothes?!”

He acted the shock perfectly, keeping his little brother from looking. Baldr was laughing with tears. “He defiled your bed, Loki! You’ll have to burn the sheets and smoke the frame!”

Loki smiled and affectionately rubbed his younger brother’s flaxen head. He peeked over his shoulder.

Thor was totally perplexed. His face was one in a million. Loki found himself compelled to share Baldr’s merriment. He pushed the boy towards the door still laughing. Baldr didn’t seem to think it odd, so he didn’t complain and left. Loki closed the door and drew the latch back. When he turned, his face was the very image of anger and scorn.

Thor frowned. He swallowed hard and started: “Forgive me, bro…”

“How can you still call me that?”Loki hissed, starting towards him.

The belt with his throwing knives was hanging on the wall. He snatched a knife, jumped on the bed astride his brother, grabbed a fistful of hair and put the blade to his throat, all in one fluid movement.

“I could kill you right here, right now!” He growled. ”I wouldn’t stand a chance against you in _holmgang_ – duel – but I would be in my lawful rights to kill you on the spot for the offense upon me!” His breath came out in pants and he trembled. The sharp blade touched Thor’s skin and a droplet of blood bloomed. Loki grinned showing his teeth like a wolf.

Thor sighed. Tears rimmed his eyes.”True… I would do anything to turn time back… I didn’t mean to shame you, I love you.” He said, breath broken.

“Do you, now…?”Loki mumbled contemplating Thor’s answer. His body slowly stopped shivering and he lowered the blade, the tip pointing to his brother’s heart. His face regained composure and he let go of the hair, clutching the Thunderer’s nape. “So… you unmanned me, turned me _argr_ because your love for me?” He asked sardonically.

“Don’t …” Thor grumbled.

He took a deep breath, looked sadly into his sibling’s eyes and said: ”I started craving for you almost two years ago. I fought against it, I swear! Last night…”

“Being drunk is no excuse! You weren’t that drunk anyway and it wasn’t your first drinking party in the last two years!” Loki spat, nose wrinkled in disgust.

“True again… Last night, when I kissed you, I thought that would be it, like so many times before, but your lips were so soft and a little swollen… and tasted so good, so fruity… and you smelled so enticing… You still do… The smell crazed me… Still does… ”He finished in a whisper and slowly raised a hand to caress Loki’s thigh.

Something happened to Loki while listening to Thor’s softly rumbling voice. First he stared into his brother’s blue eyes, than he watched his lips moving and slowly began leaning towards him. He breathed faster and hot blood flooded his pelvis when he felt the warm fingers trailing along his leg. He was angry with Thor and even angrier with himself. He should hate Thor for this power over him! Ah, but he could have both revenge and pleasure now.

“What would you do to appease me? Wouldst _you_ be taken like a woman?” He asked looking intently in his brother’s eyes.

Thor frowned in disbelief.

“Would you rather die? Lo, I didn’t…” Loki murmured in his ear and sucked its lobe.

The Thunderer moaned and squeezed Loki in his arms. The tip of the knife stung him in the hollow of his neck.

“Hold back, _brother_ mine, it’s my turn now!” Loki smirked. “You will only move at my command. The instant you don’t obey, I cut your face. The blade is bewitched, you won’t heal fast enough. You’d have to explain…”

He leaned towards Thor excruciatingly slow and their lips touched after what seemed forever. Loki nipped and teased with his tongue like eating a creamy dessert. Thor tried to catch his lips in a more fulfilling kiss, but the Trickster would have his own ways. The Thunderer whined and grew restless. Loki’s naked thighs were squeezing his hips and their hardened cocks touched from time to time. He grabbed his sibling’s hips and lifted his head off the pillows. The cold blade touched his cheek.

“Tsk-tsk-tsk!” Loki warned shaking his head left to right.

Thor groaned and fell back. Loki mercifully slithered forward. The Thunderer felt their cocks align, balls touching and shivered all over. He stole a look and saw both glistening tips, Loki’s a deep pink, delicately rounded, his own flushed dark red and slightly thicker, both leaking opalescent drops on his belly, smooth pale skin against ruddy curls and Loki’s long musician’s fingers trying to take hold of both their throbbing shafts. It was too much to grab with one hand, Thor didn’t think he could make it either because they were both generously endowed, in length as in girth.

“Stop playing and take me!” He snarled, losing patience and reason by the imperfect touch.

“You have no saying in this, remember?” Loki sang and bowed to lick and bite Thor’s lips, ear shell, neck, the valley between his pecs and a small, hard nipple. The cold blade followed the hot tongue and pricking teeth. Thor couldn’t hold back the sounds choking him. He squirmed to intensify the stroke, to get closer to completion. The blade stung again, this time right above his navel, nearly touching the tip of his cock. He froze. Loki shifted, freed himself of the robe and placed one of his knees between Thor’s thighs. He put his palm behind The Thunderer’s free knee and pushed up.

“Wait!” Thor said.

He spit on his fingers and slicked the cleft between his buttocks. He worked a finger inside to make himself more acquiescent. Loki watched fascinated as Thor pushed a second finger in. His cock bobbed and his breath became swift. The blade fell on the floor with a clink when Thor spit in his palm and daubed Loki’s swollen tip. He whimpered and grabbed the Thunderer’s wrist to make him stop, then slid his other knee between Thor’s legs.

Thor lifted both his thighs up to his chest as high as he could, supporting them with his hands, exposing himself to the Trickster. Loki pushed and inched inside. He moaned loudly at the feeling and pushed all the way into the tight hotness. He collapsed on Thor’s chest and grabbed his muscled shoulders. His thrusts were frenzied and he gave out short whines every time he hit his brother’s flesh with his balls. His belly burned from rubbing over Thor’s hot, stiff cock.

Thor cupped Loki’s face and kissed him hard sucking in every tantalizing sound. He adjusted his position to get most of the pressure against his own sweet spot. 

Loki pushed away suddenly, bent back and yelled like stabbed when he came. Thor growled like a bear and spilled a heartbeat after, his inner muscles milking Loki’s now oversensitive cock.

They lay spent, Loki on top, rhythmically lifted by Thor’s breath, like floating on gentle waves. The elder slowly ran his fingers through his sibling’s dark, wild mane.

“We are so dead…”He sighed. ”Father will slay us. He won’t even give us decent funerals; he will feed us to his wolves and ravens, bit by bloody bit…”

“What are you talking about?”Loki mumbled without lifting his head, lips brushing Thor’s neck.

“Heimdall…”Thor whispered.

Loki snorted.”The Bastard of Nine Mothers can’t see aught! My first major magic work was to hide myself and my surroundings from his unmannerly goggle, and I kept improving it. “

That was how it started and neither of them had the will or the wish to end it.


	7. MORNING ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some side effects of magic withdrawal.  
> Memories of past mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause. Writer's block on all fronts.

“Jarvis, where is Sigyn now?” Loki asked.

“Good morning, Sir. Lady Sigyn is practicing her martial arts routine on the terrace.”

“Martial arts?”

“Ancient fighting methods, Sir.”

Loki managed to sound casual when he said: “There was a little mishap during the night and I would be very grateful if you didn’t mention it to her or anyone else for that matter…”

“Mishap, Sir?”Jarvis asked politely.

“You know of my misadventures with the Avengers band, don’t you?”

“Everyone knows, Sir.”

“Well, I didn’t have enough time to care for my injuries and then my magic was taken away, so a wound reopened and I will need fresh bed linens and something to dress my wound.” Loki lied without blinking.

“Maybe you should let someone have a look at that, Sir. I didn’t notice anything while you were in the shower yesterday, also there is a strangely high concentration of reproductive pheromones in the air and Lady Sigyn isn’t due yet.”

Loki turned scarlet.” This is a very private matter and I command you to remove these considerations from your memory right away and assume my version.” He hissed.

“I am not programmed to obey your commands, Sir.”Jarvis said impersonally.

Loki suddenly felt very sick. He couldn’t stand to imagine the mocking and the contempt to ensue if this went public. “Please, Jarvis…” He pleaded but stopped. Jarvis was just a machine, no compassion to be expected and no working threats applied. He would have to cope with the humiliation.

“Very well, Sir, but there’s no need to be so reserved about this. It is common knowledge by now that Jötnar are hermaphrodites.” Jarvis stated.

Loki moaned and buried his face in the pillows. He groaned in a muffled voice:”By Ymir’s balls! That’s no reason to parade it!”

“If I may, Sir, I would suggest you talk to Lady Sigyn about this situation. She would be the most qualified to advice and assist. She surely also has the necessary protection material available.”

Loki interestedly raised a brow. “And where would she keep material as such?” He asked.

“Most certainly in her bathroom cabinet, Sir.” The polite voice answered.

The Trickster gathered the blotched sheets around his waist, walked from the bed and discreetly slid the window open. He peered outside to the terrace. He saw her there, moving gracefully in the morning sun. She wore only a short, tight, black top, covering and firmly supporting her lovely breasts, and black tight shorts. Her golden skin shimmered with a faint film of perspiration, golden as his bro… _Thor’s_. He swallowed painfully at the memories. Her muscles worked under the tanned layer while she moved fluidly, like a dancer to a strange, beautiful music. He drank the sight in deeply then slowly slid the window shut and headed towards his bathroom.

After a quick shower, holding a small clean towel between his thighs, Loki took to the clothes Sigyn had prepared for him the day before. He dressed swiftly, glad that the piece of underwear was comfy, but tight fitting, keeping the improvised pad in place. The dark sweatpants were apt too, only the T-shirt was a bit large. He asked Jarvis for directions then headed for Sigyn’s room.

He opened the bathroom door completely unsuspecting and froze in place. Sigyn was showering, plastic curtain not drawn, head covered in shampoo foam, humming a silly tune.

She stopped abruptly and exclaimed: “This is outright rude, Loki! What are you doing in here?”

“Jarvis told me you were outside, exercising!” He managed to say.

“You probably asked some time ago…”

She felt his embarrassment and, underneath, a tinge of want.

After the first glance at her naked body Loki strongly avoided looking at her altogether. He turned to get out of the bathroom.

“You may as well stay now and tell me why you’re here.” She said evenly, rinsing her hair.

He stopped, but didn’t turn and stuttered, something he never thought he would: “I… err… Jarvis suggested I may find something I needed here, in your chambers.”

“You need something from _my_ bathroom…” She said incredulously while lathering her body.

Loki swallowed. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. “Err… They’re called tampons…” he mumbled.

“Say that a bit louder, please, the water’s running…”

“Tampons!” He raised his voice, feeling a violent rush of blood flooding his cheeks.

“Oh!” She paused for a second. ”The suspended cabinet, pink bag. We don’t have them in Asgard, we should import. There are schematics drawn on the bag on how to use them.” She said flatly, as if she was asked every day for tampons by someone who looked like a male.

Loki opened the cabinet, eyed the large pink bag and fished out a small package. He extracted a flat envelope and checked the drawings on the pack frowning.

Sigyn was done, wrapped a big towel around herself and peeked over his shoulder.

“Gimme that.” She said grabbing the envelope. ”Here… you peel this off then place the sticky side to your undies, blue stripe about where you bleed from, than you peel the paper off and bend the wings… Wait! No! I only bought you boxer shorts…You spread the wings and stick ‘em to the sides.” She demonstrated. ”Got that?”

He nodded. He couldn’t help noticing she was speaking very... Midgard style.

“Change as often as needed, but at least four times a day… and stop being so bashful!”

“Thank you.”Loki murmured half turned to her, cheeks still scarlet.

She grabbed his arms and made him look her in the eyes. Her intense stare unsettled him.

“I’m here for you, Loki. I’m only sorry I’m a bit late, but, as they say in Midgard: ‘better late than never’.”Then she added casually, letting go of his arms:”Will you have breakfast with me?”

He nodded and hurried out, clutching the small pack of tampons.




After he made himself more comfortable, Loki returned to the lounge.

“Second door to your left, Sir.” The disembodied voice of the AI said.

Loki followed the directions and entered a spacious kitchen, done in cream, orange and brown. A fabulous smell welcomed him.

Sigyn was flipping a pancake. There was already a small heap of them on a plate on the counter.

He raised a brow and asked: “Don’t you have servants for that?”

“My, and I thought you were clever!” she replied ironically.

He frowned, but had to admit the question flew off his lips without a logical thought for backup. There was no need for a crowd in a house having _him_ as a guest. Had Odin addled his mind as well?!

“It would be easier if you used _seiðr_ _.”_

 _“_ You must be the laziest Ǻs I ever met!” she exclaimed.

“Jötunn, if you don’t mind.” He grumbled.

“My deepest apologies, your Highness.” she mockingly bowed.

He rose from his chair, really angered.

“The trifling detail that you can defeat me in a fair fight at the moment does not grant you the liberty of being sarcastic.”He hissed.

“Oh, the arrogance! You think you own the monopoly for sarcasm, don’t you? Well, I hate to break the news to you like this, but I’m not the shy little girl you once knew any more. I took the worst post available and spent decades on Midgard while only days passed in Asgard! Compared to you, that actually makes me ancient!”

“I spent time on Midgard and the other Realms too!” he protested.

“Yes, days, maybe weeks, but not epochs and not on duty! “ She raised her voice. “Can you imagine what it means to take shifts with only four other Valkyrjur during two millennia and a half, Midgard time? Can you? You think it was amusing living whole lives, making friends and loosing them to the merciless time? Thank Frigga I took no steady lovers and birthed no mortal children!”

            “You chose this life for yourself! Mine was forced upon me and I had to cope without even knowing why! My whole life was a lie and when the truth was revealed, it became even worse!” Loki yelled back. He was shivering by now and swallowing hard to stop angry tears from running.  

     Smoke started to rise from the stove. Loki waved his hand unthinkingly, but nothing happened. “The pan!” he warned and Sigyn turned hastily. She cursed and removed the smoking pan.

            “I’m sorry I lost control...  I guess haughty princelings bring out the worst in me.” she muttered.

            Silence fell between them while she busied herself with cooking.  

            Loki sat back and thought about his kin, his real kin, about the short time he got to know them. He remembered his conversation with his dam, Laufey, after the one he had with Odin in the vault before the Allfather fell asleep.

Farbauti, his sire, died long ago during the last days of The Great War. There were stories about his prowess in battle, about his courage and about the great love towards his clan. The Trickster loudly wondered how such love allowed him to abandon his youngest offspring in a temple to die.

            “That’s what they told you?” Laufey asked with an evil grin. “That’s what they came up with to explain your abduction? Well, hear my side of the story: we tried to protect you. We hid you in the temple with a handful of our strongest warriors. We hoped the Ǽsir wouldn’t desecrate a temple dedicated to the common ancestors of all the people in the Nine Realms, but we were wrong to raise our hopes. Your guards were killed and the Light of Winter was removed from the temple. Odin heard you wail. He was curious and followed the sound. When he found you he was astonished and he opened contact to the Norns through the magic channels he wields so well. They told him you were the one many völur foretold, the one who will unleash Ragnarök. He thought of killing you on the spot, but he changed his mind when told you were to become a great sei _ð_ ma _ð_ r. He thought it a pity to waste such power and he believed that, if he had you constantly under his eyes, he would be able to control you; if he could instil love for Asgard and its people in your heart, he could prevent its destruction and the slaughter... I dare say he was right unto this moment. You have no offspring of your own, so the prophecies are half undone... or, at least, postponed indefinitely.”

            Loki was too skilled with deception to be easily fooled. He knew most of Laufey’s story was true, but he also felt lies lurking underneath the smooth talk. He just grinned back and offered his true parent the chance to kill his archenemy wile he was helpless.

            In the end his actions earned him a new moniker: Loki Kinslayer.  

 


End file.
